OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE . . .

I know that I am weird (probably in many ways) but especially in the fact that I am occasionally forced to admit that my comfort zone is about the size of a postage stamp. Yeah . . . really. How pathetic is that?

This past week I had to face down several of my comfort zone demons . . . and I am proud to report that I DID . . . EVEN THOUGH the process about killed me off.

Now, I may heartily wish that those demons were things like jumping out of an airplane or rappelling down the side of the grand canyon (SOOOOoooOOOO not ever gonna happen) . . . but they were much littler. MUCH much MUCH littler.

I became aware of a job opening that I needed both a resume AND a letter of recommendation for . . . in a hurry. The application window was only open for one week, and by the time I became aware of it, I had three days before it closed. I had to ask someone to write the letter of recommendation with THAT little notice, at a time when the professors I know and work with are absolutely SWAMPED (its midterm time). I was surprised at HOW hard it was to even ask someone. I couldn't ask either of my current bosses, because they are on the hiring committee (but only two of about fourteen voices). Because of that potential conflict of interest, I couldn't approach either of them. Anyhow, after giving it a LOT of thought, I decided on someone that I have worked with before, and emailed her, apologizing for the short notice. Part of the problem was that a coworker who was also applying for the job (actually there are two openings) had shown me HER letter of recommendation. This woman is a friend of mine and I think the world of her, but after I read her letter, I was SO intimidated. It really made her sound bulletproof AND like she could walk on water. YIKES . . . I was sure that MINE would read along the lines of 'kind to small, furry animals and old people' . . . sigh . . .

Still, even if I didn't stand a CHANCE for this job, I knew the experience of applying would be good for me, because my job IS going away after this semester, and there will not be another 'loophole' rescue at the last minute again. I NEED to look for a new job, and the more practice I get, the less intimidating and 'root-canal-without-Novocaine-ish' (hopefully) the process will become.

Maybe.

I am not ENTIRELY convinced . . . but the idea does seem fairly logical . . .

So I did. I asked for a letter of recommendation, while apologizing profusely as to the very short notice. The professor agreed, but did say she wasn't sure how she was going to work it in , time-wise, but that she would give it her best shot, and asked me to hunt down some dates and data and send her a description of the job I was applying for, which I did. Then I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . .

The other difficult thing about this was that I had to have a resume. I know that is standard, and probably everyone else in the universe over about age twelve has already written one, but I have never ever had to write one before. EVER. I have proofread my husband's a million times . . . glanced at other people's . . . but never even THOUGHT about writing one for myself. Normally I would have had my husband and my daughter help me (and by 'help me' I mean, of course, let them do it FOR me) . . . but my daughter currently has very limited access to the Internet and my husband was busy, so his help consisted of showing me where there are resume templates on Word, and occasionally interjecting a 'you should add [blah, blah, blah].' His suggestions were helpful, but still left it for ME to figure out what to write and how to phrase things , etc. I know this is incredibly wimpy of me, but that was terrifying to me . . . I was SO overwhelmed with that task.

BUT . . . ta da . . . I DID IT!!!!! The letter of recommendation came in time, and it was amazing . . . I was SO touched at what she wrote. (HAHAHAHAHAH . . . and I had to IMMEDIATELY stifle the urge to ask every professor I have ever taken a class from or worked with to write me a letter of recommendation . . . Now THAT is pathetic!) Anyhow, I got it all done in a manner that I felt good about AND completed the application process on time. I did hit a frustrating snag trying to add an optional attachment, and gave up on that because it was time for me to go to the church Halloween Trunk-or-treat Spectacular and I had an adorable little teenaged mutant ninja turtle and his daddy waiting impatiently for me to finish . . .

I almost don't even care about whether or not I get the job (I mean, of course I DO) but I am just so absurdly proud of myself for even TRYING . . . for writing a resume . . . for asking for the letter of recommendation . . . and turning them in, that I feel triumphant just for THAT. The job itself would just be icing on the cake . . .

While still basking in the glow of my successfully applying for THAT job, I also filled out another application the next day. It was difficult in a different way, but I did it, too. YAY!!!! Go ME!

I know that turning in two applications hardly even merits a blip on the radar screen of job hunting, especially in this economic climate . . . but DANG I am proud of me!!!

LOL . . .

You know what they say about small minds and simple pleasures, huh? ;o)