SO LONG . . . FAREWELL . . . ETC . . .

Heading off to the wild blue yonder . . .

HMMMM . . . or at least the wild brown yonder . . . Seems like Texas is mostly brownish, though perhaps I am mistaken . . .

This is a bittersweet trip . . .

It is GOOD that a little family will be reunited . . . VERY good . . .

But MAN will we ever miss these precious little munchkins . . .

I guess we need to just concentrate on how grateful we are that B was willing to share them for this long, and simply for the fact that we have had the opportunity to know them so intimately . . .

I love my family . . .

FEELING BLAH . . . BLAH . . . BLAH-GGY . . .

I really had high hopes for this blog when I started it . . . I like to write . . . HMMMM . . . no . . . I LOVE to write . . . but sometimes weeks at a time go by without me posting a word . . . I am not sure what is going on with me, but it feels weird . . . It feels very UNlike me . . .

Usually I can always find something to write about . . . That is what I DO . . . but in the year since I began this blog, it seems like when I do write, that I have to MAKE myself write . . .

I still like the idea of a blog . . . I WANT to write a blog . . .

Maybe it is the thought that other people can read this (might read this?) that throws me off . . . Since I have no way of knowing who has stopped by (unless they leave a comment) and people rarely leave comments, I am not sure if the lack of responses makes me feel . . . well . . . boring? Or perhaps it is the possibility that ANYBODY (and by extension EVERYBODY) could be reading what I write that might have given me some kind of cyber stage fright . . . ?

I do not know . . .

All I DO know is that I really wanted to give a blog a good, honest try . . . I just cannot really get into Facebook . . . and this seems like an acceptable alternative . . . It involves a medium that I love (writing) . . . and allows me both the escape of self expression and a way for my kids and extended family to get to know me as a PERSON . . . not just as a wife/mom/sister/etc.

I think I will try this blog thing for another year . . . and if at the end of that time, it STILL feels like pulling teeth to write entries . . . I will wave a white flag and give up my little online experiment . . . But I REALLY really REALLY hope that this becomes a creative outlet where I can write and share from my heart . . . even if nobody else reads it but ME . . . There is value in the pondering and self reflection and the exercise of putting life experiences and feelings into words, even without an audience . . .

I WANT to be a blogger . . . so I will try for a little longer . . .

I don't post personal or family photographs . . . I simply am not a photographer . . . I also keep personal details minimal . . . but this IS . . . for what it is worth . . . ME . . .

Welcome to my world . . . ;o)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY . . .

Mother's day can be kind of a day of mixed emotions . . .

Oh, I, personally, have LOVED being a mother . . . and I was lucky enough to have an awesome mom, myself . . . Honestly, I feel like I won some kind of celestial lottery to have had the mother that I had . . .

She wasn't perfect . . . but she was an INCREDIBLE woman . . . talented . . . patient (and she can thank ME for MUCH of that patience, too, since *I* taught her most of it) . . . wise . . . insightful . . . committed to BEING a mom . . . and on top of everything else, she was a FUN mom . . . I think that she genuinely enjoyed us (when she wasn't too busy being frazzled and running a million different directions at once (as there were seven of us children) . . . I absolutely love that I have SO many memories of her ENJOYING us . . . laughing with us . . . reading to us . . . playing games with us . . . rolling her eyes at us . . . LOL . . . despite my family's problems and issues, we laughed a LOT . . . I am grateful for those memories . . .

Interestingly enough . . . I do not know if SHE would have claimed to have been a great mother . . . I think she tended to see her flaws more than her strengths . . . but she WAS, indeed, an awesome mom . . .

And I am grateful in more ways that I can possibly count that her love and light and example touched and blessed my life SO intimately for soooooooo many years . . .

I hope that my own children have even half as many wonderful memories of ME as I do of HER . . .




Though to my credit . . . I have NEVER served my children reconstituted powdered milk . . . ;o)