FEELING BLAH . . . BLAH . . . BLAH-GGY . . .

I really had high hopes for this blog when I started it . . . I like to write . . . HMMMM . . . no . . . I LOVE to write . . . but sometimes weeks at a time go by without me posting a word . . . I am not sure what is going on with me, but it feels weird . . . It feels very UNlike me . . .

Usually I can always find something to write about . . . That is what I DO . . . but in the year since I began this blog, it seems like when I do write, that I have to MAKE myself write . . .

I still like the idea of a blog . . . I WANT to write a blog . . .

Maybe it is the thought that other people can read this (might read this?) that throws me off . . . Since I have no way of knowing who has stopped by (unless they leave a comment) and people rarely leave comments, I am not sure if the lack of responses makes me feel . . . well . . . boring? Or perhaps it is the possibility that ANYBODY (and by extension EVERYBODY) could be reading what I write that might have given me some kind of cyber stage fright . . . ?

I do not know . . .

All I DO know is that I really wanted to give a blog a good, honest try . . . I just cannot really get into Facebook . . . and this seems like an acceptable alternative . . . It involves a medium that I love (writing) . . . and allows me both the escape of self expression and a way for my kids and extended family to get to know me as a PERSON . . . not just as a wife/mom/sister/etc.

I think I will try this blog thing for another year . . . and if at the end of that time, it STILL feels like pulling teeth to write entries . . . I will wave a white flag and give up my little online experiment . . . But I REALLY really REALLY hope that this becomes a creative outlet where I can write and share from my heart . . . even if nobody else reads it but ME . . . There is value in the pondering and self reflection and the exercise of putting life experiences and feelings into words, even without an audience . . .

I WANT to be a blogger . . . so I will try for a little longer . . .

I don't post personal or family photographs . . . I simply am not a photographer . . . I also keep personal details minimal . . . but this IS . . . for what it is worth . . . ME . . .

Welcome to my world . . . ;o)