LIFE'S UNEXPECTED TWISTS AND TURNS . . .

I am not really one that likes surprises . . .

Oh, I like to THINK of myself as spontaneous, but honestly . . . I am probably not . . .

Oh, I have learned to roll with the punches . . . Life teaches all of us that, sooner or later . . . There are simply too many twists and turns to this journey we call mortality . . .

Planning is IMPORTANT . . .

Preparations are IMPORTANT . . .

But . . . the simple truth is that no matter HOW carefully one plans . . . and HOW thoroughly one prepares . . . there are always always ALWAYS going to be surprises . . .

Money problems . . .

Health issues . . .

Trials in the lives of loved ones (and the more people you truly love, the more vulnerable you are to this one) . . .

Accidents . . .

Ups and downs in the economy . . .

Doors slamming shut on hoped for opportunities or on cherished, comfortable routines . . .

New doors opening that are scary and definitely NOT what was planned for the agenda . . .



SIGH . . .

I SHOULD have learned this more thoroughly by now . . .



Instead, here I am wanting to curl up and cry, gazing at a door that is shutting quite emphatically in my face . . .



Where is my sense of adventure?

Where is my faith that things will work out . . . eventually . . . ?

Where is my memory of the backlog of VAST experiences that MANY of the things that looked like 'the worst thing that could happen' when first viewed became, ultimately, some of my most cherished opportunities?!??

SIGH . . .



Sometimes I think I will NEVER die, because I am SUCH a SSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOWWWWWW learner . . . at least at LIFE . . . where it matters most of all . . .


=o/

FOREVER FAMILIES . . .

Yesterday was a thoroughly delightful day . . . on several different levels . . .

The day was one of those s0-g00d-it-can't-be-real San Diego 'patented' weather days . . . warm and balmy and sunshine-y with that intoxicating ocean breeze that you can almost taste . . . We were in San Diego to support D and N on being sealed as a family for time and all eternity in the temple pictured above . . . It is a gorgeous temple, and walking the grounds with S's children was a very sweet experience . . . The grounds were green and lush, and the temple is so beautiful (even with the temporary scaffolding on the freeway side) . . . It felt really nice to be there, even just on the grounds. It felt . . . welcoming . . .

Following that was their open house at the church building where Grampa and I met . . . LOL . . . that, too, was fun. We got to see and hug family members that had come from far away (and that we don't often get to see) . . . visit with old friends . . . the kids all played together and had a blast . . . and we laughed so hard at our table that I was exhausted afterwards . . . It felt SO comfortable and companionable . . . The food was delicious and the company delightful . . .

Even with the car problems (that almost stranded us there), my heart absolutely smiled . . . ALL the way home . . .

Congratulations, D and N . . . It was wonderful to be there and share this exciting milestone with you!!!

I WILL REMEMBER YOU . . . WILL YOU REMEMBER ME . . .

Today was kind of a unique experience for me . . .


My Mother-in-law has advanced Alzheimers and lives in a care facility . . . She is pretty far gone, in that she cannot carry on a conversation, or even manage to piece together conversational phrases anymore. She no longer LOOKS like herself . . . not the 'her' that I have known and loved for decades -- elegant, stylish, lovely and still very down-to-earth . . .


We go visit her . . . make sure she is comfortable and well cared for, that her room is decorated for holidays and seasons . . . I don't think that she is really aware of those efforts any longer, but the colors make for festive surroundings for her, and at least when people pass her room and glance in, it is obvious that this is a woman who is dearly loved . . .


Still, visiting her is difficult . . . and even harder for my husband than for me, since she IS, after all, his mom . . .


I got a little different perspective on this woman today, though. A few weeks ago, a lifelong friend of hers called to say she and her husband would be in the area this weekend and that they wanted to go see her. This is a friend from back when my MIL was a young mother with three little boys, living in Iowa. They have stayed in touch all these years . . . with phone calls, letters and actual visits, when possible, though my in laws moved to California, and the other couple moved to Minnesota.


So when they called, their names were familiar to me (I had heard my in laws talk about these cherished friends my whole marriage) and my husband had met them when he was little . . . but as adults, neither of us knew them at all, really . . . except in all those stories that my in laws had told about them.


Basically, we just knew they were very close friends that had kept in touch all these years . . .


So this couple showed up at my home this morning, bright and early, and we had a surprisingly DELIGHTFUL visit. I say, surprising, because we had no idea how this would go . . . I mean, they were sort of strangers, and it sure sounds like it could be painfully awkward to play hostess to the lifelong friends of a relative, you know?


But we had SO much fun with them . . . They are both in their eighties, but still spry and sharp and very personable and interesting to talk to . . . We ended up visiting for at least an hour or two HERE, before showing them how to get to the care facility where my MIL is.


When the four of us walked in, my MIL (who has not recognized anyone for years, though she still enjoys having visitors) absolutely LIT up . . . She held out her arms for a hug and said "oh I know who YOU are" to both of them. I was absolutely shocked (and delighted) that she greeted them so warmly. She couldn't think of their names, but I could tell that she KNEW them . . . and so we all moved out to the lobby where we could visit. Even with her recognizing them, it was a difficult visit. She cannot express any coherent thoughts, (her opening line was truly a miracle) but she was more involved and connected to this conversation than any I have witnessed her participating in for at least five years.


However, because of her lack of conversational skills, it ended up being the visiting couple mostly just sharing some of their favorite memories of her and her family (including several of my husband during his growing up years) over the years . . . which was heartwarming and delightful.


Listening to them, we all did a lot of laughing and it truly was a fun visit . . . but their memories gave me a little different feel for the woman sitting there in her wheelchair . . .


My MIL never really talked much about her growing up years . . . I knew that her childhood was dysfunctional and difficult and very harsh . . . but I never before put two and two together and realized how amazing it was that the elegant, personable, social, charming woman that I got to know when I married her son had been created from such chaotic, dark, depressing beginnings . . .



That she made something of HERSELF, based on what she came from is incredible . . . that she also managed to build a warm, loving, stable family is even more amazing . . . AND that she never was bitter or disgruntled or pessimistic is almost miraculous . . .


I got a better feel in those few hours today for just what a triumph her entire life has been over her heart-wrenchingly difficult beginnings . . .


They also mentioned in this visit, what an amazing man my Father-in-law (who died several years ago) was . . . He served in WWII in the battles that you read about in books or watch in movies . . . and of his entire platoon, only THREE men ever returned from overseas. One committed suicide a few months after his safe return to the USA . . . One went crazy (whatever the technical term is) and had to be institutionalized . . . and the third man was my FIL . . . a good and decent man who built a very good life for his family. I always knew those war years were dark memories for him . . . and I had noticed that he never talked about them in any detail at all . . . but again, I never before fully realized just WHAT a triumph it was for him to rise above those horrific memories and build such a good, solid family . . .


Listening to these people share cherished memories of my in laws -- people I have known well and LOVED for many years -- made me realize a couple of different, kind of sobering things . . .


ONE, that you never really know what someone will remember about you years down the road . . . and that if you are LUCKY, the memories will be warm and cherished . . .


and TWO, just how very difficult it is to know a PARENT (or an in law) just as a PERSON . . .



This experience today really made me wonder what it is MY friends . . . MY extended family members will remember -- years down the road -- about ME . . .



. . . or if they even WILL remember me . . .



And it made me even more grateful and appreciative of the people whose values and attitudes and characters shaped the man I married and have built a life with . . .

A NEW LOVE . . .

I know some people think it is odd that I don't post 'real' pictures of family on my blog, especially when I talk about them, but that is okay . . . I don't mind being thought a little weird. I get to do what *I* feel comfortable with, right? Just like everybody else . . .

So this is not, of course, an actual photograph of my 'real' brand new grandson . . . He is FAR far FAR cuter and smarter and more perfect, for one thing (or is that three things?) . . . But it will do . . . "C" finally arrived . . . safe and sound, though 'finally' seems a little odd to say about his birth since he was like two and a half weeks early . . . Still it FELT like 'finally' because his birth didn't follow the pattern of his siblings' births . . . So we were all QUITE certain that he would arrive at ANY time for five full days before he actually made his appearance . . .

We have seven grandchildren, so this wasn't our first . . . but this WAS the first time I have ever been in the delivery room for a baby other than one of MY five . . . and I have to say that it was an INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, UNFORGETTABLE experience . . . WOW . . .

I love each of my grandchildren DEARLY . . . and wouldn't trade any of them for ANY amount of money . . . They each have such a unique little personality and it is SO exciting and satisfying to watch them grow and blossom . . . If I have any heartaches or regrets, it is simply that one returned home to Heavenly Father WAY too early . . . before we even had a chance to know him or look into his eyes and tell him how VERY much he was loved . . . but I know that we will have that chance someday, and I am grateful for that knowledge.

THIS baby, like I said, was the first grandchild whose birth I have actually witnessed . . . We have seen most of them within hours, maybe even less . . . certainly within a few days . . . but THIS one we got to watch BEING born . . . which was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life . . . It truly IS a miracle . . .

From the rush to the hospital . . . wondering if we would make it in time . . . to watching my beautiful daughter patiently deal with contractions and bafflingly slow hospital staff . . . I am in awe of how stoic she was and well she dealt with her discomfort and the examinations and all the poking and proding that went on during the short time she was there before "C" decided it was time to come NOW . . . I am quite certain that *I* was never so calm tempered (partly because my husband always reminds me of things I said and did during my labors) . . . but beyond that, even the nurses kept commenting on how well she was dealing with everything (in fact they told her she was welcome to come back 'ANY time at all' . . . LOL . . . just what every laboring woman wants to hear, huh?

She had a more difficult time with this one than her others . . . "C" decided to present himself, sunny side up, and that makes for a more difficult, painful birth for mama . . . but he still arrived safely, though they were a little worried about keeping his temperature up for the first few hours after his birth . . . Still, he was absolutely beautiful, and right away, showed a DISTINCT preference for his mama's arms (which has continued . . . though he will now quite graciously let gramma hold him as long as he isn't hungry).

His siblings are absolutely delighted and enchanted with this new little brother, and I think "A" has even forgiven him for being a boy instead of the little sister she had put an order in for . . .

DEEP, dreamy sigh . . .

There is something just SO incredibly spiritual and just SWEET about having a brand new baby in your home . . . They bring such an incredible spirit with them . . .

YAY for new babies . . .

YAY for safe arrivals . . .

YAY for being a gramma!!!!!