Today I was driving across Riverside, over by Fairmont Park and looked up and caught a glimpse of Mt. Rubidoux . . . Now I have lived here for eons, and seen it off in the distance maybe (roughly) a million times . . . but I have only climbed it once . . . a year and a half ago. And seeing it today, put me right back there . . .
T and J and little M invited us along on a hike to the cross at the top. I know it was a year and a half ago, only because it was during the time I was waiting on my first cataract surgery. I was legally blind in one eye, and the other eye (which also had a cataract growing) didn't have great vision either.
I had seen Mt. Rubidoux off in the distance so many times that I didn't think it would be that big a deal to climb it, but it was actually a pretty steep, grueling hike. The five of us hiked it, and I can still VIVIDLY remember how worried I was about my eyes . . . I was relieved with the diagnosis of 'cataracts' because those are the most easily fixable of all the possible causes of my diminished vision (I couldn't even drive the last month or two). It was really a DARK, scary time . . .
I enjoyed the hike (what a work out!!!) but I remember how disconcerting it was to look out and KNOW that there was a gorgeous view available . . . and to realize that I could see so little of it, and what I could see was blurred.
I was feeling SO scared about the future during that hike . . . I mean I loved being outdoors, on such a beautiful day, with people that I absolutely cherished . . . I LOVED that . . . but everything I enjoy most in life involves my sight . . . reading . . . drawing . . . painting . . . sewing . . . writing . . . studying . . . If something went wrong with the surgery, and those things were lost to me forever . . . MAN . . . I just couldn't even face that thought . . .
So despite it being such a bright, sunny day . . . and an activity I was sharing with my husband, and son and daughter-in-law and grandson . . . that particular day seemed rather dark and bleak to me . . . I was SO scared . . . Too apprehensive and afraid to even voice my thoughts . . . I don't think I ever told anyone . . .
Stumbling across that memory TODAY, especially so unexpectedly, when I saw Mt. Rubidoux, off in the distance, made me realize how MUCH I have to be grateful for . . .
Here it is a year and a half later . . . I have had cataract surgery on both eyes (the surgeries were a year apart) and my vision is AMAZING. I CAN sew . . . I CAN read . . . I CAN draw . . . I CAN study . . . I CAN see the beautiful, cherished faces of the people I love . . .
I am SO very thankful for that blessing . . .
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