I have been married a long time . . . a REALLY long time . . . Half of forever, as near as I can calculate . . . My marriage is a pretty good one, though by no means perfect. Our marriage is no more perfect than either of us are . . . and that is not very perfect at all . . . We step on each other's toes (metaphorically speaking) on a regular basis . . . We drive each other crazy . . . irritate one another to death . . . and yet we stay together . . . and somehow, despite all our struggles and shortcomings, our marriage works well on a whole lot of levels . . .
I know that doesn't sound very romantic . . . but we are not young, starry-eyed lovers who think we would die if forced to separate . . . We know and appreciate each other's strengths, AND we know and tolerate (for the most part) one another's flaws and quirks and weaknesses . . .
I guess I simply don't want to give the wrong impression here . . . Despite our struggles, we have a good marriage . . . It is more than simply comfortable . . . it is . . . peaceful . . .
That has not always been true, but it IS true, now . . .
And so, in honor of Valentine's Day . . . I want to mention some of the things that I have come to love about my husband and our relationship . . .
I love that our marriage IS so comfortable . . . We know one another VERY well -- metaphorical warts and all . . . and I know that my secrets are safe with you, as yours are with me . . .
I love that you try very hard to listen to me . . . even when you are upset . . . even when you vehemently disagree . . . even when you are POSITIVE I am wrong . . . You genuinely TRY to 'hear' my point of view . . .
I love that you make me laugh . . . sometimes with your wit . . . sometimes with your silliness . . . sometimes just because you like to see me smile . . .
I love that when I look into your eyes, I can SEE that YOU can still see the hottie you married SO long ago . . .
I love that when we walk into a room together you always put your hand at the small of my back . . . I cannot even begin to express how cherished and protected that makes me feel . . .
I love that I know how to light up your eyes . . . That we know one another so well, that I know what dinners will elicit a HUGE ear-to-ear grin . . . What naughty suggestions whispered in your ear will get your motor purring . . . That I know how to buoy you up when you are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged . . . I LOVE that I can still do those things for you . . .
I love that you believe in me . . . That you feel lucky and honored to be my husband and tell me so frequently . . . One night -- years ago, in the midst of a really difficult, painful stretch -- I will NEVER forget your turning to me and whispering, "I know that you are the very best thing that has ever happened to me" . . . To say something like that when things are going WELL would be a sweet compliment . . . To be able to say it when things were NOT going at ALL well, touched my heart beyond measure . . .
I love that when you see me for the first time . . . coming through the door after work . . . when you are at an airport (either arriving or picking me up), scanning the crowds for my face . . . or even in the halls at church when you come upon me unexpectedly, that you visibly light up . . . You are genuinely glad to see me . . . Every SINGLE time . . .
I love that once, years ago, when a significant earthquake awoke us both in the middle of the night after a particularly nasty fight -- one that really made me wonder if we would or even could stay together afterwards -- despite the recent ugliness, your first impulse was to reach out and grab my hand . . . That unconscious gesture gave me hope that we COULD, indeed, work through things . . . and we did . . .
I love that you are willing to tolerate the things I am interested in, even if they are not the same things you are interested in . . . We do not have a lot of shared hobbies, and never have . . . I love to walk, you love to plop down and watch TV . . . I like to socialize, you would rather interact with NOBODY other than family and extended family . . . We both love to read, but WHAT we read varies significantly . . . You love the latest and greatest gadgets and gizmos, and I am a technophobe . . . I love to try to eat healthy and you hate all vegetables (except raw carrots, corn on the cob and iceberg lettuce, sparingly) . . .
I love that despite the many compromises we have negotiated over the years, that we have not had to give up being ourselves to be a couple . . . even though I know you have really struggled with this one . . .
I love that you wholeheartedly adore our five children, their spouses and significant others and our grandchildren . . . I have no doubt that you would do anything in your power to be there for them in any way they needed . . .
I love that you love the Lord . . . You and I do not always see eye-to-eye on our shared faith . . . but even so, I have no doubt that you love the Lord . . . and I appreciate that, more than you know . . .
I love that our relationship -- even after all these years, and all the things we have faced together -- is multifaceted . . . That we can laugh together . . . cry together . . . pray together . . . be playful together . . . be passionate together . . . share ideas together . . . even disagree without being disagreeable . . .
I love that throughout our marriage, through all the ups and downs we have experienced, you have KEPT coming home to me . . . even when things weren't so good . . . even during the rough stretches . . . even when things seemed pretty bleak . . . THANK YOU for that . . .
I love that above all else, we are FRIENDS . . . and I know that you have my back, as I have yours . . .
Money is tight this year, and I am not sure what else I will be able to do for you for Valentine’s Day but I just wanted to make sure to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, honey . . . because you ARE my Valentine . . .
