VICTORY!!!!!!!

WHOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!

I DID IT!

I am SO thrilled . . . I actually wrote a 50,000+ word story . . . and it DOESN'T (I don't think) completely stink!!!!!



=o)

I even took three days off from it completely this week so I could concentrate on and enjoy my company and the holidays, and I STILL managed to finish a few days early.

Now, no matter what else I do in my life, I can always say that I won the NaNoWriMo challenge in 2010!!!!! (And yeah . . . everybody who completes the 50,000 word challenge 'wins' . . . but I don't mind sharing the honors . . . I am simply grateful to be among them . . .

WOW . . .

This felt SO challenging at the other end, when I had no idea what it would take to accomplish (or even if I COULD accomplish it) . . . but I hung in there, and did it . . .

I am really, REALLY pleased . . . =o)

ALMOST DONE . . .

It is now day 23 . . . and I am ALMOST done . . . My word count is (right this moment) 48,462 . . . so I have a little over fifteen hundred words left to write.

I am SOOOOooOOOOOO close . . .

I have to say that this has really been a good experience.

I started it a little overwhelmed and scared, worried that I could NEVER write fifty thousand words in only thirty days . . . and I have discovered along the way that I most certainly CAN . . . and it didn't even have to take over my life to do it. I still had time to watch TV in the evenings with my husband . . . serve in my callings (even prepare for and teach a RS lesson during the month) . . . play with my grandkids . . . keep my house cleaned . . . cook actual meals . . . I even took Sundays off, with no ill effects. Well almost no ill effects . . . I do have to admit that on Mondays it was a little harder to get back 'into' my story after a full day away, not even THINKING about my story line or characters.

Despite that little difficulty, however, I still think taking a break each week was a good idea. I liked the mental break, and I think it has kept me from being totally overwhelmed or consumed by this project . . . because frankly, I can get way obsessive . . . ;o)

And, I have to say that I like my story . . . in all its rough edges-currently-unedited/unpolished glory . . .Oh, its not an 'important' story . . . It really isn't. It isn't epic on any level . . . and I know that, but I wont apologize for it.

It is just the quiet little story about a young girl growing up . . . learning to deal with changing family dynamics . . . navigating the shifting loyalties of friendships . . . being willing to try new, stretchy experiences . . . making new friends . . . dealing with new feelings and new experiences . . .

She doesn't have all the answers . . . she doesn't speak in a steady stream of witty, hip one-liners . . . the adults are not stupid, two-dimensional cartoons that are the perceived cause of all her problems in life . . .

I like my characters . . . I like how this is flowing together like a story, and that the characters are almost taking on a life of their own, saying and doing things that I hadn't envisioned, and that almost seem outside my control, though, of course, it IS my fingers on the computer keys . . .

I am so glad I gave this a try, even though it was scary for me.

This has been GOOD for me . . .



And I am already well aware that I will MISS it . . . even though, there is, of course, nothing to prevent me from continuing to write, continuing to work on this story, continuing to polish it and work out the inconsistencies and smooth the rough edges . . .

Still, working on this challenge this month has seemed almost magical . . . and I am loathe to have that end . . . It has added a little sparkle to my life that I have absolutely LOVED . . .

I think that it has turned me into . . . yeah . . . one of those . . .





A writer . . .


WOW . . .

MAKING PROGRESS . . .

Week three is going a little easier than last week. I am now sixteen days in to the NaNoWriMo challenge, and have 34,103 words. Another thousand words and I will be ten thousand words above the halfway point, so I am pretty much on target. This has been an interesting experience, unlike any other writing I have ever attempted.

Because the emphasis is on QUANTITY of words, over QUALITY of writing, it is very freeing. I have given my internal editor the month off, and refuse to even worry about how good my story is or how important it might be. I am just completely immersing myself in the joy of simply WRITING. After November 30, when the dust has settled, I can sit back and begin to review the story and make a judgment as to its value at that point. Honestly, though, I probably wont even do that til after all the holidays. It will be good to put it aside and forget all about it for a month, then in January, after Christmas is all put away and recovered from, I can begin to read through and evaluate if there is worth to what I wrote, and what can stay and what needs to go . . . looking for inconsistencies and places that need to be revised or fleshed out . . . finding characters to weed out or revamp, etc. I have no doubt that I will enjoy that process when the time for it comes, because I always love revising and editing my writing, watching it slowly come together as I face the flaws and work to smooth the rough places. But that time is NOT now . . .

Interestingly, enough, I shared my story (61 single-spaced pages) in all its spectacularly unedited glory with a friend today. Normally that would be hard for me to do. Usually it is like sharing your baby . . . holding it up for people to criticize . . . Under other circumstances I would be feeling vulnerable and defensive and very, very protective. Perhaps I would feel that way about THIS story, if I had started with a storyline in mind, like so many did.

But when I began this 'adventure' I had NOTHING . . . No ideas at ALL . . . no story line . . . no characters in mind . . . not even any idea of the KIND of story I wished to write about. Because of that, I feel this curious sense of detachment with it, which is very unusual for me. Perhaps that simply means that on some level I already KNOW that it stinks (a very real possibility). I suspect, though, that it is more because I didn't PLAN this story . . . I had no expectations or dreams for it . . . so that I keep being surprised by the things the characters do and say, the little twists and turns in the plot that I didn't plan or expect. Because of that, I feel no more ownership of it than I would if a scruffy dog followed me home from the grocery store. I might feel curiosity, maybe even compassion, but I am not going to feel any sense of responsibility for it. Does that make sense? So if you say to me, "WHOA . . . that is ONE ugly puppy", I don't get defensive or hurt . . . I would simply look over at the dog, and think 'you know, she is right'. LOL . . .

So I shared it with someone who asked to read it. That is a first for me. Oh, not the first time I have shared my writing. I have done that numerous times, even submitted some for publication, and had a few pieced actually published. But I NEVER shared it (whatever 'it' was . . . a poem, a story, an essay, whatever) before *I* was pretty satisfied with the level of polishing and reworking and revising I had done . . . I had to first get it to the point that I wouldn't be embarrassed by its unfinishedness before I could share it with someone whose judgment I respected.

I think that just might be progress . . .

Or . . . now that I think of it, perhaps it is just sheer mental exhaustion . . .



LOL . . . time will tell, I suppose . . . ;o)



But in the meantime, I am enjoying the process of becoming acquainted with these people who have chosen to inhabit my story . . . It has been a pleasure to get to know them, and watch them act and react to life as it happens around them.

PLUGGING AWAY . . .

Sometimes this is what I feel like with this NaNoWriMo challenge . . . fifty thousand words is a LOT of words . . . and this week was definitely harder than week one. Apparently there really IS a 'week two' syndrome where you feel overwhelmed and like kicking yourself for even THINKING of writing a stupid book . . . and I had it . . .

But . . . I still just kept plugging away, and decided not to worry about my word count as much as just try to recapture my enjoyment of my story . . . and I finally got past my slump.

Today is day 13 . . . and my word count is 28,746, so I am well over halfway to the 'finish' line . . . and not quite half way through the month. I take Sundays off . . . not really sure why, since this isn't WORK or even SCHOOL . . . but I think it helps keep it fresh to be able to step away from it completely for one day a week, and not even worry about the story or accomplishing anything on it.

I have to admit, this may be a REALLY hastily written work-in-progress, not yet edited or revised or fleshed out, but I LIKE it. Oh, I freely admit that it may very well be sheer rubbish . . . but it is MY sheer rubbish . . . and I am growing quite fond of my characters and the situations that are building here.

They are my FRIENDS . . .

LOL . . . and here I thought people outgrew their imaginary friends when they grew up . . . I guess *I* am one of the ones to just BEGIN to discover them in my 'old' age . . .

It's kinda fun, actually . . . ;o)

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!!

I have no idea who the woman in the photo is -- but I liked the picture, and it kind of captured my mood.

I am SO jazzed . . .

I am on day four of this thirty day marathon and I have already written just over 10,000 words. I am a FIFTH of the way to home stretch!!!

It was intimidating to start NaNoWriMo with a COMPLETELY blank slate . . . no story ideas, no characters, absolutely ZIP . . . but I was determined to give this stretchy exercise my best shot anyways, and somehow it IS coming together as a story.

I mean, I freely admit it might be sheer rubbish, (and probably IS, at this point) but I am having the time of my life working on it . . . I just sneak away for little snippets of time which often turn into hours and hours. The process is very energizing, and definitely adds a delightful sparkle to life. Kind of like having a secret lover, I suppose, only without any of the soul searing deceit and awful lies.

THIS 'adventure' I can share WITH my husband . . . and he is cheering me on. I suppose he is a little baffled as to just what the appeal of this is, but he is being VERY supportive, even when I wake him up in the middle of the night to announce my latest word count or some plot twist that JUST occurred to me . . .

This is, indeed, a VERY patient man! Thank you, honey!!! =o)

. . . AND SO IT BEGINS . . .

NaNoWriMo kicks off at 12:01 tonight (or is that considered tomorrow morning?) so I may very well be scarce around here, both posting and visiting other people's blogs . . . Sorry, it is nothing personal, I simply want to give this challenge my all, and not having ever done it before, I have no idea how much of my time and energy it will consume . . .

So I am giving myself permission to slack off here (as to my challenge to try and post every few days) for the month of November. I will be back December first . . . and who knows, maybe I will need some kind of a safety valve outlet like blogging or reading blogs to break things up a little . . . In which case you may not even notice a difference in my rate of posting . . . Like I said, I really have NO idea . . .

But if worst comes to worst . . . please know that you are still in my thoughts and prayers . . . and I'LL BE BACK (said in my best, fake Arnie governator voice) . . . ;o)

OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE . . .

I know that I am weird (probably in many ways) but especially in the fact that I am occasionally forced to admit that my comfort zone is about the size of a postage stamp. Yeah . . . really. How pathetic is that?

This past week I had to face down several of my comfort zone demons . . . and I am proud to report that I DID . . . EVEN THOUGH the process about killed me off.

Now, I may heartily wish that those demons were things like jumping out of an airplane or rappelling down the side of the grand canyon (SOOOOoooOOOO not ever gonna happen) . . . but they were much littler. MUCH much MUCH littler.

I became aware of a job opening that I needed both a resume AND a letter of recommendation for . . . in a hurry. The application window was only open for one week, and by the time I became aware of it, I had three days before it closed. I had to ask someone to write the letter of recommendation with THAT little notice, at a time when the professors I know and work with are absolutely SWAMPED (its midterm time). I was surprised at HOW hard it was to even ask someone. I couldn't ask either of my current bosses, because they are on the hiring committee (but only two of about fourteen voices). Because of that potential conflict of interest, I couldn't approach either of them. Anyhow, after giving it a LOT of thought, I decided on someone that I have worked with before, and emailed her, apologizing for the short notice. Part of the problem was that a coworker who was also applying for the job (actually there are two openings) had shown me HER letter of recommendation. This woman is a friend of mine and I think the world of her, but after I read her letter, I was SO intimidated. It really made her sound bulletproof AND like she could walk on water. YIKES . . . I was sure that MINE would read along the lines of 'kind to small, furry animals and old people' . . . sigh . . .

Still, even if I didn't stand a CHANCE for this job, I knew the experience of applying would be good for me, because my job IS going away after this semester, and there will not be another 'loophole' rescue at the last minute again. I NEED to look for a new job, and the more practice I get, the less intimidating and 'root-canal-without-Novocaine-ish' (hopefully) the process will become.

Maybe.

I am not ENTIRELY convinced . . . but the idea does seem fairly logical . . .

So I did. I asked for a letter of recommendation, while apologizing profusely as to the very short notice. The professor agreed, but did say she wasn't sure how she was going to work it in , time-wise, but that she would give it her best shot, and asked me to hunt down some dates and data and send her a description of the job I was applying for, which I did. Then I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited . . .

The other difficult thing about this was that I had to have a resume. I know that is standard, and probably everyone else in the universe over about age twelve has already written one, but I have never ever had to write one before. EVER. I have proofread my husband's a million times . . . glanced at other people's . . . but never even THOUGHT about writing one for myself. Normally I would have had my husband and my daughter help me (and by 'help me' I mean, of course, let them do it FOR me) . . . but my daughter currently has very limited access to the Internet and my husband was busy, so his help consisted of showing me where there are resume templates on Word, and occasionally interjecting a 'you should add [blah, blah, blah].' His suggestions were helpful, but still left it for ME to figure out what to write and how to phrase things , etc. I know this is incredibly wimpy of me, but that was terrifying to me . . . I was SO overwhelmed with that task.

BUT . . . ta da . . . I DID IT!!!!! The letter of recommendation came in time, and it was amazing . . . I was SO touched at what she wrote. (HAHAHAHAHAH . . . and I had to IMMEDIATELY stifle the urge to ask every professor I have ever taken a class from or worked with to write me a letter of recommendation . . . Now THAT is pathetic!) Anyhow, I got it all done in a manner that I felt good about AND completed the application process on time. I did hit a frustrating snag trying to add an optional attachment, and gave up on that because it was time for me to go to the church Halloween Trunk-or-treat Spectacular and I had an adorable little teenaged mutant ninja turtle and his daddy waiting impatiently for me to finish . . .

I almost don't even care about whether or not I get the job (I mean, of course I DO) but I am just so absurdly proud of myself for even TRYING . . . for writing a resume . . . for asking for the letter of recommendation . . . and turning them in, that I feel triumphant just for THAT. The job itself would just be icing on the cake . . .

While still basking in the glow of my successfully applying for THAT job, I also filled out another application the next day. It was difficult in a different way, but I did it, too. YAY!!!! Go ME!

I know that turning in two applications hardly even merits a blip on the radar screen of job hunting, especially in this economic climate . . . but DANG I am proud of me!!!

LOL . . .

You know what they say about small minds and simple pleasures, huh? ;o)